The Ever-Changing Thought Has Changed

10/25/2008 – 7:00PM

The new site for  The Ever-Changing Thought is live.  If you need to update your RSS feed, there is a RSS link on the page that should allow you to update as well.  

This site is closed for Comments and open on the other.

Thanks for making me feel welcome.  Thanks for giving me the encouragement to take this site to the next level.  I hope that the new location will be as enjoyable for you and I as this one has.  

Don’t forget to take time to update your feeds here!  

-Scott

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My Road To Recovery

“Hey there!  Come on in, have a seat.  Glad to see ya! Can I get ya anything?  No?  Alrighty then.  I’m a recovering alcoholic, and we sure do like our coffee.  Do ya mind if I get some?  It should be about done. Thank Ya.  I’ll be right back.  Make yourself at home. Oh, and don’t mind the cats.  Only one of them might bite ya.”

You look around the living room of my luxurious 1220sq ft home, (uh..wonder which one might bite) nestled in the big town of Lafayette, TN.  There are some prints on the blue..and man I mean…blue blue walls.  The Old Guitarist by Picasso hanging by the computer  monitor, which is giving a slight glow to the room.  Got Van Gogh – The Starry Night hanging above the couch there behind you.  Nice comfy home.  A little messy, but I am an alcoholic, not as messy as one might thing.  You can tell that I’m working on things around here.  Cabinets are getting painted, walls getting painted.  Getting things back in order.

“So, How are ya? Think about that one, maybe I’ll give you a chance to answer that one later.  What can I do for you?”

“What’s that?”

“Aww shucks, you ain’t interested in hearing about my road to recovery, surely.”

“Oh, that’s why your here.  Cause the sign above the door said “My Road to Recovery”.  Well, I guess that kinda makes sense that that’s why you would be here.”  

“Tell ya what.  I’ll share it with you.  Promise me one thing though, If I’m gonna spill it and it gets boring, please don’t up and leave, awright? It’s kinda long, so I’ll just go ahead and apologize, but you did ask for it you know.”  

“Let’s see..where to start?”

“Well, I’m not gonna go into all the drinking stuff that I used to do.  I might tell you some of that later.  I’m gonna start back…oh…sometime around September of 2007……..

I was tired of the feelings that I had every morning when I got up.  Having to put the red eye in, making sure I even had the red eye relief.  Then going about my “normal” life.  But this day I was going to be different, for a while.

I didn’t drink anymore.  I took it upon myself to just stop.  I broke down, broke my friends and families hearts, and told them about my problem and how I could do it on my own, even though most of them thought otherwise, but hey, I’m an alcoholic and I’m always in control, right?  

Well I did stop drinking, for a while.  I went through the night sweats.  Man, those were the coldest sweats I’ve ever had.  You know how it feels when your sleeping at night, and your fever breaks, how you wake up in that little puddle of sweat colder than a cucumber in December?  Well, it wasn’t a puddle that I was laying it.  I had to flip my mattress up when I left for work so that it could dry out before I got home.  It was just horrible.    

I got the shakes.  Thought one night I was gonna shake my brain loose.  Didn’t hardly sleep a wink for about a week or two.  But I did it, for a while.  Work was horrible.  I couldn’t keep from shaking, I tried to hide it, but I’m guessing everyone saw it.  Mind was going about 150 gazillion miles an hour.  

Fast forward, oh, I’d say to November.  I, well the alcoholic voice in my head,  had decided that I finally had a hold on my drinking. It wouldn’t hurt me to have a drink or two one Friday night.  Guess you can see where I’m going with this huh?  Well, I did drink a couple.  A couple of 12 packs.  In one night!!!  Just like I hadn’t stopped a bit.  Took up right where I left off.  

Didn’t go looking for no help.  I was gonna just drink for a while then do it all over again.  Just hide it from everyone and pretend everything was ok.  I done did it once, right?

Now, I didn’t have “it” as bad as some of em out there might tell ya they had it.  See, I was a…uh..a what they call, a functioning alcoholic still.  I was holding down my job, caring for my children, able to still live a not so abundant life, but just barely.  Didn’t drink any during the day, well, weekday.  I don’t think I would be saying that today had I not done something..but anywho.

Well, come February, I was still drinking like a fish.  But, all the drinking was catching up to me.  I was getting really really tired of that voice in my head every waking moment, constantly lamenting about needing alcohol, wanting alcohol, counting alcohol, smelling alcohol, breathing alcohol.  I could tell things were just about to hit the fan.  I could see me loosing my job, friends.  Shoot even my life.  

So, I got up one day in September, just on the verge of loosing it all and I cried.  No, not like boo hoo, I mean I cried like a little baby.  Shoot, I might just break down and cry on ya right here..I’ll try not to though.  I remember it vividly, I prayed to God whom I had abandoned a long time ago.  I prayed so hard for him to make it stop.  In my mind I was saying, Make the voice GO AWAY GOD! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!  And then I screamed.  I screamed so loud.  I told that voice to “SHUT THE HELL UP!!!! I CAN”T TAKE IT NO MORE!!!!!” (sorry mom)

Oh…Sorry about the screaming there.  Got lost on the road.  Man it was tough. Don’t much like going back there.  But that’s the worst of it.  

I had had enough.  That was February um, I think it was the 22 or 23rd, don’t quite remember the date, might of been earlier.  I was a bit messed up, sorry.  Daddy called and we met here at home quite a bit was said that day, but if ya don’t mind, I’d kinda like to keep that to myself.  Anyway, eventually I said…er..cried that I need help.  We cried together.  I hadn’t seen my daddy cry since he had those kidney stones (wuss..jk dad). Anyway, He worked with a lady whose husband was a recovering alcoholic and arranged for me to meet him. 

He was like an angel…well, a scruffy angel, but still.  He was my way out and I could tell it.  (I need to call him)  He was happy to be alive.  He wanted to help me.  Told me he went to Cumberland Heights in Nashville, TN.  Sobered up and was living the good life.

We talked a little about AA, and the 12 steps. Again, some of that I’ll keep to myself if you don’t mind.  

Well, fast forward again.  The day is now February 24th.  Tomorrow I check my self in for rehab.  Nervous as a cat with his tail under a rockin chair nervous. So, what do you do?  Have one more go at it.  Yep.  I drank, and drank, and drank.  I had already taken off work that week, told them I was going for help.  They were glad, very glad I would say.

Anyway, went to bed..no..passed out that night, woke up the next morning, got in my vehicle and headed to Nashville.  That was the last time I even touched the stuff.  When I got to Cumberland Heights to check in, I still blew something in the Breathalyzer test.  Whew.  I cried when I got there to.  I was by myself, in a strange place, around a bunch of drunks, and was gonna be hanging out with them for 2 weeks.  Kinda looked a bit like a funny farm on the outside.  Turns out, there’s miracles that happen there.  I called daddy for the last time.  I cried..gosh I’m such a cry baby.  

Anyway, I think the journey through Cumberland Heights I’ve got in a story lying around here somewhere.  If you look around here you might find it.  Probably got some questions about that place too I suppose.  

When I left Cumberland Heights, I was out of smokes.  Also, I had heard of the bar down the street that would give you a free beer if you turned in your chip to em when you got out.  I had to drive by it.  Again, I was scared.  I couldn’t do it.  There’s no way.  Well, turns out there is a way.  I made it past the bar.  Then I had to go inside a store and get some smokes.  Walked right by the beer and I ain’t gonna say that I didn’t think nothing about it.  I kinda did.  But I was stronger.  I had God back with me.  

Got back home, met up with “the guy” again and went to my first AA meeting that night, and I went every night until May I think.  

I had gotten back in church and from that point on I found my AA there.  There’s even other alcoholics there that I can talk to if I ever need.  I tell you what.  That bunch of people over there, I love every single one of them.  Ain’t no way I can go back now.  I’m Alive..ALIVE I tell ya.  

Even after all of that.  If I could go back and change one thing, ain’t no way I’d change any of that.  But, I’ve got that in a book around here somewhere to.

Well, that’s my story up until this day.  Things are getting better everyday.  Still got a taste in my mouth that I can’t shake.  Not like alcohol, but like a craving for alcohol.  I’ve gotten used to it though so it don’t bother me too much.  Gum usually takes care of it.  

I sure hope it was worth you coming all the way out here for that story.  If you got any questions, please, feel free to ask.  I love talking about it.  Makes me feel better.  Makes me feel better to have you listening to me too.  I appreciate that.  Hey, if you know someone whose like I was, why don’t ya send em over? Let me show them how life can be if they want it.

So, How are you doing?”

Personal Goal – Managing Emotions – Update #2

Hey! Scott! Over here! How are ya doin with those goal thingys?

Hey! I’m glad you asked.  Just have a seat, a cup of joe (depending on what time it is..hmm..another post just hit me..) and let me tell you how I’ve been handling my emotions this week.  

I’ve been handling them like a stick of dynamite. Thanks for stopping in and asking.  Check back next week fo….

“Whoa!! Yeah, nice try buddy.  That ain’t gonna work.”

*sigh* O, awright.

I’ve actually had a very good week.  Both Monday and Thursday..er..today, were fine.  No big time blow ups that I can remember. 

Prayer Life

My prayer life is improving.  Before my feet hit the floor I have to say, “Whew! God! I’m an alcoholic and man, I thank you so much for not letting me drink yesterday.  Help me not drink today.  Use me any way you see fit (dangerous I know (I don’t tell him that part..I just think it (like he can’t hear you dummy. what an idiot.” (HEY! YOU THERE! GET OUTTA MY THOUGHTS!)))).  Oh, and thanks for letting me wake up again.  I really enjoy that part of my day.”  I think God gets a kick out of that.  He has a sense of humor you know.  But that’s for another day.

Meditation

I’ve been trying to stop at some point during the day and just close my eyes and meditate while I’m at work.  Examine my breathing, what’s going on in my head, you know, just make sure everything is in check.  Checking my pressure valves and just doing a steady release if needed.  If something was really starting to get to me, I’d stop and for 10 seconds just think about if it’s gonna matter tomorrow.  Most of the time it didn’t, but that stopping helped ease it a bit even if it did seem like it would matter.

And just yesterday I put into practice another tradition that I picked up from Motivate Thyself – Taking Time To Breathe In Life.  Taking 5 minutes (precious time to most of us nowadays) to just stop, look and listen and see what I’ve been missing, being so busy these days.  I’ll spare repeating it and give the glory where it needs to be. Check it out sometime, just come back here when your done. 

Stress Related Articles

Read previous section.

Blogged

Yep, done at too.  This really really is quite possibly still the most exhilarating, freeing, fun thing I have done…ever!  

Took time at the end of the day to think about triggers

This I did, but not so much at the end of the day.  Trying to catch them before they become major issues.  Been doing a pretty good job at that, if I do say so myself.  Although, there was a small issue yesterday but it only lasted briefly and didn’t ruin my day.  I’ll not go into that here.  Just keeping myself honest.

Conclusion

You tell me?  Have you seen..er..read any growth?  I’m curious really.  I hope that you’ve set yourself some goals by now as well.  If you haven’t, why not?

 

Let me help you help yourself! <—-keep it or drop it? opinions. you ain’t gonna hurt me none whichever .

SC

We stare at weblogs, what do cats stare at?

Kiki Catching Up

Kiki Catching Up

Ok Scott, what are you doing?“, I hear you say.  Please, just bear with me.  

There really isn’t much of a point to this post.  It’s just a goofy thought that I have just about every morning at the same time it seems.  Let me draw you a picture if I may try.

It’s 5:30am and I’m just starting my day.  Out of bed, prayers are said. The first thing that is on my list when my feet hit the floor? Coffee.  Gotta make some coffee.  

I stroll from the bedroom, still half to a quarter asleep.  Leisure stroll.  Yawning all the way down the hall to the kitchen where I complete my first goal of the morning.  I get the coffee started.  (side note: I have a timer on my coffee maker.  Don’t ask me why I don’t use it.  I have no idea.  The only thing I can come up with is that would make too much sense, and that’s just not me.)  So, there.  Coffee is perking, the smell is filling the air (Another side note: Fresh coffee smells like a skunk.  “What?!?”, you say.  I know.  Crazy huh? I’m serious though.  Make some coffee and just take some extra time to notice the aroma.  Then, the next time you smell a skunk on the road, tell me it don’t smell like fresh brewing coffee.  Gross. I know.) waking me up.  

I check the cat food and water bowls.  I’m lazy.  I’ve got those food and water bowls that you can fill up once a week and as the contents in the bottom of the bowl go down, they refill from the top.  So, all good there.  But Kiki (the younger cat) seems to think I should do something with them anyway cause she looks right at me, right at the bowls, and just let’s out the most horrible/cute “meow meow meows.” I’ve learned that I can kind of kick the water bowl and make it make that “Glurp Glurp” noise, and she’s OK with that.  That’s settled.  Now the fun begins.

It’s 5:40 and I turn my monitor on and fire up FeedDemon and watch the screen intently as each folder and article update.  The number of new entries goes up and up and I get giddy with excitement.  Wonder what cool stuff I’m gonna read about this morning…..(beeep….beeeep……beeeep).  Ah, the coffees done. 

Chloe (the other cat, I have 2) is still half asleep in the chair.  She watches me each morning go through my routine.  Just kinda sitting there following me with her eyes and I can hear her say “Hey, buddy! I’m not done sleeping yet.  If you’d sit down I’d go to slee….ohh..whaa..hang…I , gotta wash this spot….on my paw, right,….there…..if you’d sit down I could *yawn* go back to sleep.”  She is not a morning cat.  

I get up and fetch some coffee and a Diet Coke no doubt, and head back to the computer.

Kiki..she’s up. She’s wondering around the living room.  Looking for something to knock under the couch or the TV so that she can try to get it back out.  I pass by her on my way back form the kitchen and she stops, looks up at me and says “WHAT!?!”. I leave her to her fun.  

I’m back at the computer now.  Coffee on my right, Diet Coke on my left, hand on the mouse, eyes fixed intently on the screen, and I click my first feed under my Writing folder…I’ll not bore you with much more detail here..

When I get up and fetch my second cup of coffee, I’ve started to notice that Kiki is no longer in the living room. She is always at the back door, staring at something.  Just sits there.  She sees me pass through and only acknowledges me by turning her head as if to say “Just leave..me…alone”, and turns once again to stare out the back door.  

She sits there, in that same spot the whole time I am catching up on my blogs.  I can only assume then that to her, we are no different.  All she sees is me, sitting in one spot, for who knows how long, doing only one thing.  Staring out this window.  

So, this question hit me the other day, and every morning now as I pass her by, I chuckle as it goes through my mind:

I wonder if Kiki looks forward to getting up and looking at her Catalogs as much as I do my Weblogs.  She must.  Silly cat. It took me forever to capture the picture at the top of this post.  Yep, that’s Kiki, catching up on her catalogs.  And having a good time doing it, it seems.  (Don’t look at the other junk in the picture, you)

 

SC


 

It was their fault not mine

I had an interesting conversation with myself, like you do, and me and I went down memory lane.  We went way back to 8th grade (my daughter is in 8th grade which I suppose is why I was thinking about this) and progressed through all the stupid things that we did in school.  And then through college.  We tried to figure out why?  You know, together, we just couldn’t come up with “THE” answer.  I never did think myself was very smart.  

Thing is, when I was in school, I didn’t know who myself was.  I think I wanted to be what all the other “cool” kids were and myself was no where around.  When I needed to fit in somewhere.  When I wanted to fit in somewhere.  It was always I and not myself.  

You see, for years and years (I’m sorry Terry, Dan, Chris, Ya’ll know who you are I honestly mean no harm whatsoever) I never blamed myself for living the lifestyle that I was living.  It was always my friends fault.  I smoked because my friends smoked, I drank because my friends drank, I stole (jeez, sorry mom and dad if your reading this, no mom, if you call and ask me what I stole I’m prolly not gonna wanna talk about it) because they smoked.  It was their fault.  Yet, I still loved hanging around them, even after college.  Why?  Cause I was fitting in. Being what they wanted me to be.  Never myself.  

So fast forward a little.  Who do you think suddenly had no control over his life?  Yep I.  Whose fault was it? Nope, not myselfs.

I really stuggled with this.  It was very hard for I to tell myself that it was his fault.  (Ok..i’m stopping with the I myself stuff, I’m getting confused)  It was very hard for me to accept the fact that everything, and I mean everything that happened to me in my life was MY FAULT!  Do you know how hard it is for an alcoholic to say those things? No?  Ask one.  

“Scott, how hard is it for for an alcoholic to admit self-guilt?”

Well, friends, I’m so glad you asked.  It was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to tell myself.  But you know what?  After I made that statement to myself, myself really started to come out of the shell that he was hiding in for probably ever. 

(sorry had to answer the phone…where was I)

Oh, yeah..Shell…right, thanks…right now I think I’ve just got an arm and maybe a leg out of the shell.  Testing the ground that I have never felt.  Makeing sure that it’s stable and I’m not going to sink.  It’s scary starting over.  It’s tough trying to expose myself.  It’s a process.  But ya know, it’s fun learning.  Again, I’m having such a blast!  Quite possibly the most fun I’ve had with myself in a long time.  Hush.

I still love my friends and my family to death.  There is no way on earth that I will ever want to change anything about the way I grew up.  It has made a caring, loving myself out of I (sorry..had to do it) Looking back and thinking what all they were put through at my expense.  Because I’m a selfish person.  Because I wanted what I wanted and if I didn’t get it (I’m still this way a bit) I was gonna kick and scream until I did. And they are still telling me how proud of me they are or things of that nature.  I’m humbled and almost overwhelmed.  

Thanks to all of you friends.  Old ones and new ones.  It’s because of ya’ll that I am who I am today…no..wait…I didn’t mean like I’m trying to fit in with ya’ll.  I meant..oh never-mind.  I’m getting my own identity.  I hope I don’t become a completely different person, yet I do. 

 

SC

This Just Makes It More Interesting

I’m sure this wonderful, well thought out, time devouring, thought/post/observation/analogy, has been tossed around the blogosphere many many times over.  But it hit me today, and has just sorta changed, ever so slightly, the way that I “look” at the blogosphere.  Personal, I think is the word I’m looking for.  Interesting is another one.  

“Where did ever come up with such a great idea, Scott?”

Well, I’m glad you asked.  

This took off from a comment/reply that I had left on cheerfulmonk.com just this morning.  Please read the whole post, but what I found…um…most interesting (not about the whole thing Jean, it was all interesting) about the comments was:

#2 Scott on 10.20.08 at 1:13 am
Sorry about that, after I re-read my last post a few more times, it sounded more like a shameless plug. Not intended.   

Scotts last blog post..The Ever-Changing Thought is..Um..Changing??

#3 Jean on 10.20.08 at 1:54 am
Scott,
Thanks for coming by. I didn’t think your first comment sounded like a shameless plug. In fact, I refer to some of my posts in comments on other people’s blogs. I don’t think of that as plugging my blogs as much as going deeper into a conversation. I encourage people to do the same here.   

I like your blog and have added it to my Live Bookmarks. )

“I didn’t think your first comment sounded like a shameless plug.”

It then hit me.  If the blogosphere is a large, striving, community (world is how I picture it actually), then each niche is a neighborhood, and in that neighborhood are individuals (tecthought.com, cheerfulmonk.com, pickthebrain.com) blogs, which make up the houses in that neighborhood.  We are free to roam from neighborhood to neighborhood, house to house, checking out all the cool stuff “they” have that we don’t have in our neighborhood, and then we take that back to our neighborhood, our homes (blogs) and improve it as well as improve the community and the blogosphere.  Very fascinating to me when I look at it from that vantage point.  

I’m new to this house, neighborhood, community, and blogosphere (turns out, I’m not liking that word so much) and I have been blessed to have been welcomed the way that I have.  I hope that I am able to contribute to the growth the way that I intend. 

“OK Scott…jeez, the point?”

Hush.  I’m getting there.  Our doors (sites) are always open to strangers passing through our communities and neighborhoods and homes.  Peeking in to our “private lives and thoughts made public” and we are all OK with that.  All that we ask is one thing from each other.  One small payment for me allowing you to enter my house, neighborhood, community freely.

“OK Scott…come on already!”

Ready for that payment?  Here is all we ask of each other. Leave a comment.  Mindboggling isn’t it. I know!   That comment is your way of saying “Hey, when you get done at Jean’s house, or Seamus’ house, or Ron’s house, your all invited to my house, my neighborhood to hang out for a while.” 

PAY IT FORWARD – That phrase is used a lot here in my “real” community as we have just went through that horrible tornado back on Feb. 5th.  My community here really grew as close as I have ever seen (and we didn’t rely on the government (shameless political view there sorry)). I hope that when the tornadoes hit our communities here in the blogosphere (there has got to be another word for that), that we can all band together and help each other rebuild their “homes.”  Help the new guys moving in get off the ground.  I’m willing to pay, help in whatever way I can.  Are you?

Jean, though it wasn’t planned, even made the same comment we make daily out there in the “real world.”

Thanks for coming by“, she said.  Gives me chills.  A whole new perspective on this thing we call a community.

 

Let me help you help yourself!

SC

Hey, How is Your Day Going?

Careful how you answer that question.  It was posed to me today, unexpectedly, and within minutes…my response, changed….Not really. (If you easily offended, or grossed out…easy does it in this post)

The Setup

For those of you who do not know me, I am someone that you will very rarely see without a nice cold Diet Coke in my hands (you think Coca-Cola Bottling will gimme some money for that plug?).  Today was no exception.  

I was on my way back to the office from a clients job site and had to make my stop to get my drink.  It’s a 40 minute drive, and there is no way I could make it back without stopping for a soda, and since I had already had one on the trip down, I should probably go ahead while I am at the gas station and get rid of the one that I had earlier (uh hem…use the restroom…).  

I pull into the parking lot of the station that I normally purchase my soda’s from and proceed just like it was any ordinary day.  Little did I know that my exit from the building would be so much more…different.

“Hello”, the clerk behind the counter stated as I approached the register with my refreshing beverage.

“Hello!”, I say. All chipper, kind, on the up and up.  You know, just feeling good.

“Hey.  How is your day going?”, she asked.

The Conversation That No One Hears

An awkward, but brief silence followed as the wheels in my mind start churning.  Then the following conversation, though brief, takes place in my head.

Why is she asking you this?“, my mind pondered.  

I don’t know!“, I responded

You think she’s crazy!?“, said the mind.

She doesn’t appear to be.” I responded.  “She’s just being nice. We should do the same.  I am having a good day, she seems to be having a good day.  Let’s converse!

I don’t know.“, my mind said in that questionable voice.

“Well,” I proceeded to respond to the clerk.  “It is Monday.  But I am alive, I am breathing, and I couldn’t be better!”, I stated.  Very confident in my answer.  Felt really good to.

“It sure is a pretty day”, she said.  

And of course I agreed, “Yes, yes it is.”

And it is.  It’s sunny, a bit chilly, but as far as pretty days go, It may not get any better than this day.  It can only get worse. (Dum…dum..dummmm).

The Plot Thickens and Takes a Turn

“I’m going to leave my soda on the counter here while I use your restroom, if that’s ok”, I said.

“That’ll be just fine”, the clerk responded, and I was on my way to the restroom.

See I told ya it would be ok“, I resumed the conversation with brainiac. 

Yeah. You got me there“, it seemed to say

So this conversation is going on while I’m walking the short distance to the restroom.  Thinking to myself how I should somehow work this into a post.  How nice the lady was.  How nice it felt, to feel good enough to have a conversation, though simple as it was, with a stranger just doing her job and happy to be doing it.

See, the alcoholic in me still had to question why she was being so nice.  My old self would not have been so chipper and full of joy.  I would have assumed she needed something, or thought I was up to no good.  Not a very happy person was I.  It’s a very terrible life to live, and one that I’m glad to have left behind.  I wouldn’t change anything about it, but I definitely don’t want to go back to it.

Me and my thoughts reach the restroom door.  Almost whistling Dixie (figure of speech, sorry) in my head, I feel so good. 

I turn the nob. It’s not locked. I proceed to open the door.

(Slow motion scene ahead)

Slowly the door opens.  Still in my thoughts.  

(Slow down the audio in your head for the next scene)

The door is an 1/8th of the way open. 

“Theerrreeeessss sooommmmeeeeeooonnneee…”

The door is 1/4th of the way open, and I start to see a figure.

“iiiiinnnnn hhhhh….”

The door is completely open now and I’m starting to go in, but there is this figure that I’m not expecting to see.

“eeerrrrrrreeeee..!!!!”

(resume normal audio speed)

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!“, my brain yells.  “WHAT IS THAT!!!!!

I DUNNO!!!“, I responded.  

I was scared to death, yet it’s almost like passing the scene of a car accident.  You don’t wanna look, but you just can’t keep from it.  

IT’S A FAT NAKED GUY!!!!!!“, my brain deduced. (As if fat really really mattered at this point, how heartless of my mind.)

“Sorry!”, I exclaimed and shut slammed the door.  Standing there in silence.  Facing the door in confusion. Not knowing what to do next.

That was a guy changing clothes, in the bathroom, right there!” I let my brain in on the secret.

You think!!!” , it exclaimed.

What do we do now?“, I asked. “Do we stay and wait for him to come out and then use the restroom, or make a run for it?”

Run! Run like the wind!” brain exclaimed, and I concurred.  

I ran to the counter, picked up my soda, ran to the van, slammed my door shut and took my first breath since all of this started.  Staring out the windshield, soda in hand.  Everything flashing before my eyes.

I’m alive….ALIVE!!“, we said.

As I was driving back, I had almost forgot how nice the woman was.  How wonderful a day I was having.  How chipper things were.  

So, “How is my day going?”, you ask.  It’s going great!!  Lunch was a little ruined, but it’s a great day to be alive non the less.

 

Hey! How is your day going?

SC